more ferard fanfiction. TA DA.. not really i've had this all done for ages now.. i'm just lazy with posting X_X

M o n t h
I haven’t seen Frankie in a month. It’s not that he’s avoiding me its more I’m avoiding him. I’ve told mikey to tell Frank I’m sick. I’ve told him to keep lying for me. I’ve let my phone just go and the messages he leaves pains me. God I miss him so much. I don’t know what’s worse, lying to him or being near him. I haven’t really done anything since he left. Drawing is the only thing that keeps me sane. I’m distracted when there’s a knock to my door. Mikey must need something. I get up to get it but not before it opens before I had gotten the chance. I gasp as I see Frankie coming in. he quickly shuts the door and locks it. I’m confused but the look in his eye is scaring me more.
“Hey Gee….” The way he says my name makes me flinch. “Found some interesting news out the other day.” With each word he continues to proceed closer backing me into my wall. Breathe breathe, breathe.
“Um really?”
“Yeah…besides the whole you not being sick part…” The way he talked to me in such a sarcastic tone just made my body shake at the venom in his voice. “I got to find out who the lucky guy is.”
All the blood drained from my face. He knows, oh god he’s going to kill me. Now there was no where to go and both his hands blocked any way out. “Frankie…I…” “Gerard…you lied to me….Jesus you lied to me countless times…how…how could you not tell me…IT WAS ME!?”
His voce got louder with the ending of his sentence. Even if he was shorter, he was more intimidating then I’ll ever be.
“Frankie … please” suddenly he grabbed a hold of my shoulders and looked me straight in the eye. Instinctively I flinched again as he touched me, prepared for the blow to the face that never came the first time.
“Gerard … why… why the hell did you lie…straight to my face….for Christ’s sake?” there was something inside me that just snapped.
“Frank you wouldn’t have accepted it! Would you really be ok with the fact that your best friend…yor male friend was in fucking love with you? How the hell could you possibly understand how fucking torturing it was to have you smile at me, hug me, hell straddle me for fucks sake!? Frankie I never wanted to tell you because I valued our friendship, not just for me to just fuck it up. Christ I love you damn it.”
I think with my out burst Frank didn’t know how to respond. Then his hold on my tightened and with on swift motion he threw me on my bed. God no please what ever he’s going to do just stop, not my Frankie.
“Gerard…” he started to peal the t-shirt he had off his skin, moving next to the buttons of his pants. “I can’t help it…I mean you want this right?”
I was stunned, was he going to rape me? “Frankie…no… please I don’t want what ever you’re thinking. Please. That’s not what I want.” I couldn’t help it as tears burst out of my eyes. I guess I looked pathetic because Frank stepped away and headed for the door.
“I just wanted you to love me in return Frankie...” I whispered in a hoarse voice as I fell to my pillow. This is the end…I feel my heart breaking. My Frankie…my life…my love was leaving me forever. That’s when I heard a loud thud against my wall. “Damit Gee!” I looked up to find Frank stressed more than anything with his hands toying with his hair. He was the one that had made the noise in an effort to release anger. I’ve made him so angry, hurt and confused.
“I’m sorry…” Its all I can whisper. Hearing me speak caused him to turn around. He had this look that seemed like he was going to lash out at me any moment. Before he got that chance I stopped him.
“Frank…” I didn’t dare use his nickname, he might be disgusted, “you can leave…you don’t have to look at my face anymore…we don’t have to be friends. I’m sorry…I put this on you…” my heart ached but it was better this way.
“ Please…Frankie-” I stopped myself mid sentence. I used his nickname. I was so scared he was going to hit me and call me a disgusting fag. I covered my mouth trembling. I closed my eyes hoping the world would just end. Then a soft hand covered mine in a small attempt to remove it.
“Gee, are you that scared of me?” He looked so sad and sincere I just broke down. “God Frankie…don’t you hate me?” then with a tight embrace he whispered in my ear.
“Never…god no.” He pulled back enough for me to look him in the eyes.
“Gerard…I need some time to let all this sink in. just because I’m telling you this does not mean rejection though…” Tears grew in my eyes. Even though he didn’t full out say no I should have known he would never accept me.
“Frank…” My body got stiff as I let out a request. “ please let go of me…” Frank slowly backed away and had this look on his face that I couldn’t read. For a split second I swear he looked upset.
“Gerard…I’m staying the night.” I turned to look at him like he was mad.
“we need to sort this out. You’re my best friend for Christ’s sake.” He had a point but I didn’t know if sleeping over was the best idea he had. I was a mess and before I could stop I broke out in tears I’d tried so hard to hold back. I fell to my bed and just cried. How did things get so fucked up? I felt a soft hand touch my back and then snuggle up beside me. Was frank cuddling? I don’t remember because I just blacked out.